“Cut off toxic people…”


Have you ever been addicted to something?  I have. 

I’ve been addicted to the gym, shopping, shoes, sports, working, money and even, See’s candy.  LOL

But according to MentalHelp.net, an addiction is classified as negative when it is “a repeated involvement with a substance or activity…despite a substantial harm…” 

In other words, an addiction in the most negative form is a repeated behavior that negatively impacts themselves and everyone around them.
All humor aside, if you have ever known someone addicted to something, there is a great deal of denial and lack of recognition simply because an addict can learn to function  despite the adverse affects it causes—and negativity becomes normal. And when a person learns to live with an addiction, one of the hardest things for an addict to do, is come to the realization that they are an “addict.”

While studying in college, one of my assignments was to attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. If you have ever attended an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting, the participants will say, hi my name is (insert name), and I am an alcoholic.“
This is an example of an affirmation statement that is said during these types of meetings with the intent to take power and control of one’s addiction. 
An addict learns that the pursuit to understand their addiction begins with  acknowledgment and the acceptance of who they are. 

But we live in an age when people often disconnect themselves from their problem instead of considering that maybe THEY are the problem. 

People say “I don’t need drama” or  “I’m going to avoid negativity, flee bad relationships, and get rid of toxic people and situations.“ 

The problem with these kinds of statements—is no where in these statements is an acknowledgment to their contribution to the problem. There is a removal of ownership and avoidance of responsibility by externalizing the causality. There is never an acceptance of a need to change one’s self, but rather a pursuit to change their surroundings. . 

Imagine if you have a weed in your garden; no matter how many flower gardens you transplant the weed—It still remains a weed and not a flower. 
Let me put into a different context.  Maybe you have experienced some turmoil in the workplace. You decide to leave that job, and go to another job where surprisingly you’re experiencing the same problems. Then you leave that job, to find other employment, only to find that you have the same problems. So, despite having changed your environment, nothing is changing, because perhaps YOU are the problem.

The Bible says “if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away” (Matthew 5:30). In other words, there is an acknowledgement—and then an action to CUT OFF or remove whatever causes the problem even if it’s CONNECTED TO YOU. 

I have made many mistakes in my life. 

And I will never blame anyone for my choices. I’ve just learned to CUT OFF  the things in my life that have an adverse affect on me—even if it’s my own hand. 

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